The focus of this night’s broadcast of Empire Builders was Spokane, Washington, and its iconic hotel, the
Davenport. But that just addresses the milieu of the story. For fans of old
time radio, this broadcast is more significant in the fact that it was written
by Raymond Knight (1899-1953), and he played a leading role. And perhaps because he
was the author of the story, it is not too surprising he even spoke the opening
lines of the dramatization.
Here’s one short write-up about this episode:
A modern romance of
the West, in which an incorrigible “wise cracker” succeeds in spite of himself
in winning the girl and is, in turn, won by the West. The locale is Spokane
OPENING
ANNOUNCEMENT:
You are listening to Empire Builders, a
presentation of the Great Northern Railway, featuring Harvey Hays as the Old
Pioneer, Virginia Gardiner, Andy Sannella and his orchestra and Bob MacGimsey,
harmony whistler. Tonight you will also hear for the first time on this
program, Raymond Knight, director of the Empire Builder programs since their
inception, who will play the part of Joe.
(MUSIC WITH WHISTLER
UP AND OUT)
Ray Knight’s character, Joe, started up the dialog by
launching a series of disparaging comments about Spokane and the West in
general. He was speaking with his fiancée, Virginia (played by Virginia
Gardiner), in the lobby of Spokane’s Davenport Hotel.
JOE: Say, Virginia, the west doesn’t
look so wild and woolly tonight. Here we are in the Davenport Hotel in Spokane Mississippi
JOE: Ah, the Chamber of Commerce
dinner! Stuffed olives, stuffed shirts, cold filet mignon, warm ice cream and
speeches! I’m going to love it, too.
Not surprisingly, it isn’t long before the Old Timer
appeared, and was introduced to Joe by Virginia. In the process, we learn one
more little tidbit about the Old Timer that had not previously been revealed.
PIONEER: Proud to meet you, sir. Virginia
JOE: Me? No, sorry! New York New York
PIONEER: Now let me see – Yes, I’ve heard of it
some place --- (CHUCKLE) oh yes – sure enough I was born there.
The Old Timer and Joe exchanged some banter about the
differences between living in the east and living in the west. Joe’s comments
dripped with disdain and a certain amount of prejudice against Spokane and the
western U.S. in general. The Old Timer, meanwhile, tried in vain to convince
Joe he ought to give the area a try. Eventually, the three of them decided it
was time to head off to the banquet. The Old Timer revealed that he was in fact
one of the evening’s speakers. A musical transition ensued, and the scene
shifted to the banquet room at the hotel.
(DINING ROOM SOUNDS
UP WITH ORCHESTRA PLAYING A MARCH NUMBER. CHANGE TO WALTZ AND CONTINUE FOR
FAIRLY LONG TRANSITION AND FADE OUT)
JOE: Well, darling I’ll have to admit that that was
a real dinner. They do feed you out here. (SOUND OF GAVEL, RAPPING FOR
ATTENTION) Oh Lord! I knew we’d have to suffer!
(Sings: “The speeches are coming, hurray, Hurray!”) – “Unaccustomed as I
am to public speaking – Holy cats, who is this?
 |
| Brochure boosting Spokane, circa 1914. |
Winterbottom proved to be a bit of a blowhard after all,
carrying on in eloquent form about the marvels of the Spokane area. Throughout
the professor’s speech, Joe couldn’t resist quietly heckling the man with a
series of snide comments. Virginia grew impatient with him and repeatedly
pleaded with him to tone it down. Another speaker, a man named Hamilton, was
introduced to the assemblage. There was no explanation of his position, but he
may have been representing the Chamber of Commerce or similar booster
organization. His comments were somewhat shorter than the professor’s and a
little better received. He concluded his statements with these words:
Spokane for each of
us holds some particular charm. The unspoiled wilderness is at our doors – the
finest hunting and fishing in the Northwest is but a stone’s throw away. Lofty
mountains beckon us a few short miles from the lofty buildings that line our
streets. Here is the spectacle of a great city in the midst of the great open
spaces – busy, hustling, young, and lusty. Here is the story we must each of us
pass on to our friends. Spokane Capitol City Inland
Empire . There is little more to say. Tell your story of
Spokane to your friends – do your duty to your city, spread the
fame of Spokane wherever you go!
With a good deal of hearty applause, Hamilton’s comments
even stirred a softening of Joe’s demeanor.
JOE: Oh! Oh – er – so I was well, why
not? That was a darn good speech and that chap was so sincere. There may be
something in it after all – of course I’ll never admit it – but he certainly
had a few facts.
It was at this point that the Old Timer was called to the
dais to speak. He startled both Joe and Virginia with what he had to say.
PIONEER: Folks, I don’t rightly know whether I’ll
dare to talk or not. (LAUGHTER) No – – I
may be used to speakin’ to you over the radio but I’m not used to makin’
speeches, face to face, but I promised I’d try, an’ I’ll do it’r bust.
(chuckles) Y’see, I’ve been part n’ parcel o’ this here Northwest since ‘way
back when, and askin’ me to make a speech ‘bout it’s like handin’ a boy two
pies. He don’t know where to begin, an’ neither do I. (LAUGHTER) But like our friend Mr. Winterbottom I’m a
goin’ to tell you a story too. It seems there were two young people and their
names were Joe and Virginia, I knew back East a few years ago. They’d knowed
each other ever since they was youngsters, an’ they was practically engaged to
be married. But the girl, she wasn’t satisfied with the East, and so one day
she told the young fellow what was on her mind – it happened this way – – –
With another musical transition, the story evolved into a dramatization
of the Old Timer’s story, a dialog between Joe and Virginia. It was told that
Joe was holding down an important position in New York, with a contract that
still had a year or two on it. In the meantime, Virginia had obtained work for
the Spokane Chamber of Commerce, and felt compelled to follow the opportunity
and move to eastern Washington. Virginia beseeched Joe to come and join her
there when his contract was up. He promised to come out to Spokane, alright,
but only if in possession of return train tickets for them both.
The Old Timer paused in his storytelling to see if the
audience wanted him to continue. Of course they said yes, and he pressed on.
PIONEER: Our second scene is in the observation car
of the Oriental Limited where I was aheadin’ out here to Spokane
(MUSIC) (TRAIN EFFECTS FOR BACKGROUND)
PIONEER: Why, why, Miss you’ll excuse me, but can’t
I help you? What’s the matter? Not bad news, I hope?
(SOBS LOUDER)
PIONEER: Lonesome! Why, why, Miss, I’m old ‘nough
to be your father – your grandfather for that matter. Let’s you and me talk
this over. This is no place to be lonesome – just look at that magnificent
scenery – them mountains –
The Old Timer was clearly the man to know, if you wanted to
accomplish any networking. Virginia and the Old Timer got to chatting, and
Virginia explained how she was on her way to Spokane to work for the Chamber of
Commerce there.
PIONEER: Is that so! Why the president of the
Spokane Chamber of Commerce is an old friend o’ mine. I’m goin’ to Spokane
Virginia let on that she had a feller in New York who wasn’t
too keen about the west, and she didn’t have much faith in his ever changing
his mind on the subject. She loved it where she was, and just hoped like the
dickens that he would change his mind and join her there. In the meantime,
though, Virginia was still anxious about not knowing anyone where she was
headed.
PIONEER: Don’t you worry ‘bout that! I know
‘most everybody out here – an’ I’ll see you get acquainted. You’re going to
have a wonderful time! And when your young man comes out, he’ll be just as
crazy about it as you are. Why, you’re a sort of pioneer – comin’ way out here
from New York
PIONEER: Like it – why Ma’am it never fails. They always
like it.
(SOUND
OF CHIME GONG)
PIONEER: (continuing) There’s the first call to dinner! I’m so
hungry I could eat a catamount raw! An’ these Great Northern meals – why I’m
always eatin’ so much on these trains I’m ‘fraid I’ll lose my figger! You come
on in an’ have a snack with me, an’ I’ll tell you some more about Spokane
A musical bridge brought the radio listeners back once more
to the banquet hall of the Davenport Hotel, and the Old Timer at the dais. He
finally revealed to the folks in attendance that he had been talking about the
young man and woman who were seated with him at dinner.
PIONEER: An’ so this young lady came to Spokane Spokane Virginia Spokane
(LOUD APPLAUSE)
JOE: Oh yes, you have, Virginia
With that, Joe jumped up and surprised Virginia with a few
things he had up his sleeve.
JOE: Now I’m going to begin my speech
by telling you the difference between an Easterner and a Westerner. You know
when Westerners go to the East, the tradition is that they are strong silent
men, given to doing and not talking. Well do you know why they don’t
talk? It’s because they’re scared to death that if they get to talking, the
Easterners will find out what a swell place the west is and they’ll all move
out here and then there won’t be any room for the westerners and they’ll all
have to move east to find breathing space. (laughter) But now you take the easterner. According to
tradition when he comes to the West he does nothing else but talk about how
wonderful the East is and he talks so fast you can’t get a word in edgewise –
Ladies and Gentlemen, the reason he talks too fast is because he’s
scared to death that if he stops talking, the westerners will ask him a
few questions about the east and he’ll have to tell the truth!
(LAUGHTER) And that, ladies and
gentlemen, has been the trouble with me, ever since I arrived in Spokane
Virginia was a bit startled by all this, and challenged Joe
about what he’d been up to, saying she believed he had only arrived in town the
day before. Joe began to spill the beans, but at his own pace. He explained
that he had toured the area to get a feel for the place, and the Old Timer
asked him what his verdict was.
JOE: Well to tell you the truth I’ve
seen so much in such a short time that I’m a little bit staggered. As a
newspaper man back home said recently “Radio announcers are nothing if not
accurate – and they are not accurate.” Now I am not an announcer – but neither
can I be accurate in this case – I can only give you a few impressions – Among
other things I have noticed that the American Northwest has a completely even
temperature, that is – it is the same everywhere. I am positive of this because
in every city which I have visited the citizens have assured me that their
community has the best temperature in that part of the country.
(laughter) I have also been impressed
with the big way you do things out here, especially as I passed thru Montana
and North Dakota on my way to Spokane, where for miles and miles on either side
of the Great Northern tracks you have cleared away the trees so that the
easterners might see the view. Any other definite impressions at this time are
impossible because I’ve seen so much in such a short time. At the present
moment the impression I have of the Inland Empire is of great wheat fields
spouting out a stream of enormous trees into a huge apple orchard composed of
lead, copper and zinc mines, which is run by water power made up of alfalfa,
poultry and vegetable ranches and which produces for twenty-four hours a day a
constant flow of the most beautiful scenery and the best fishing and hunting I
have ever seen. In other words – I am sold!
Next, Joe alerted the audience to a more specific and
personal announcement.
JOE: Fellow citizens – I take this
opportunity to announce that my wife and I will be at home after – well, say 3
o’clock tomorrow afternoon – at our new residence on – let me see, where’s the
address of that house I bought this morning – here it is – 303 Maplecrest
Avenue… Drop in and see us any time.
Virginia was knocked a bit off
balance by this . . .
VIRGINIA: Joe – your wife?
JOE: Certainly – You and I are being
married at noon tomorrow.
JOE: Yes, I’m taking the day off.
JOE: Yes – I landed a swell job
yesterday morning and I’ve got lots of work to do.
Professor Winterbottom once again
stepped to the dais and kept the proceedings moving along.
W: And now, my friends, let us
all join in singing our city’s song – “Hello, Miss Spokane
(APPLAUSE. ORCHESTRA
UP WITH SONG – ALL SING. FADE LOW ENOUGH TO HEAR!)
 |
| Sheet music, circa 1914. Yes, there really is a song called "Hello, Miss Spokane." You can't make this stuff up. |
As almost an afterthought, Joe mentioned to Virginia that he
forgot to ask her something. She replied “ask me what?”, and he said “to marry
me –will you?” By now, the radio show’s 30 minutes was just about up. No time
for formalities or getting on a knee and whatnot. Happily ever after, those
two, I’m sure.
If you care to know more about the historic Davenport Hotel
in Spokane, follow this link to a video history called “The Davenport Hotel:
Grand Again”, a roughly one-and-a-quarter hour program from KSPS Public
Television: http://video.ksps.org/video/1476681581/
If a book is more your speed, here’s another link to a
listing on Amazon for a thorough treatment of the Davenport: “Spokane’s
Legendary Davenport Hotel” by Tony and Suzanne Bamonte (published 2001): http://www.amazon.com/Spokanes-legendary-Davenport-Hotel-Bamonte/dp/0965221970/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427634501&sr=1-1&keywords=davenport+hotel
Until next week, keep your dial tuned to Empire Builders!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Use my email address to contact me directly. If you post a comment here, I would appreciate it if you let me know who you are. I cannot reply to anonymous comments - there is no way for me to get back to you.