310316 - Topic: Irish story

Recording status:  recorded, not in circulation

This broadcast of Empire Builders was one of many in the final season of the series to be recorded off the airwaves as an “air check.” The Great Northern Railway paid to have this done, I presume, to verify the quality of the production. I have not yet been able to listen to this recording, but hope to soon. In the meantime, I do have a copy of the press release for the program, as well as a draft of the show’s continuity.

The story dramatized on March 16, 1931, was apparently referred to simply as the “Irish story.” It was a nod to St. Patrick’s Day, which was the following day. The press release reveals that once again the prolific radio script author W.O. Cooper was credited. I’ve located a reference in Great Northern Railway accounting records that an author named George C. Howard was paid a fee in February of $50.00 for a story titled “The Malones Never Quit.” I’ve been curious as to whether this was a first draft for a story that Cooper then edited for use on the air, but this is all just speculation. This night’s broadcast does not have any Malones in it.

The press release, issued by the GN’s Harold M. Sims, opened with a few comments about the nature of the story. It also praised the sound effects crew, and then proffered what I can only imagine was an inside joke of sorts. If it wasn’t someone tongue in cheek, then it was quite self-serving. You decide.

A railroad melodrama appropriate to St. Patrick’s day will be presented by Empire Builders Monday night. With some of the scenes laid in the railroad yards, the sound effects crew will have a busy night of it. Incidentally, all of the trains and many of the other sounds heard on Empire Builders are produced by ingenious mechanical devices designed by the Great Northern railway’s representative in charge of these programs.

The GN’s “representative in charge of these programs” – um, yeah… that’s Harold Sims, the very guy who wrote the presser. A-hem. I can’t argue, though, that Sims deserved plenty of credit for all the work he did to invent and/or improve upon a number of sound effects innovations utilized on Empire Builders.

The press release continued with a few insights about some of the actors in the performance:

Monday evening’s half hour will be packed with thrills, action, suspense and last, but not the least, the fighting spirit of the Irish. Harvey Hays as the “Old Timer,” Bernardine Flynn (both Irish themselves), Lucille Husting, and Don Ameche will be featured in a strong cast of veteran actors.

I’m missing the first page of the continuity, so until I have a chance to listen to the recording of the broadcast, we’ll just have to jump in on the action at the top of page 2. It seems the Old Timer was visiting friends – a whole passel of Irish friends, natch – and sharing dinner at the boarding house where they were all gathered. Dinner entailed plenty of corned beef and cabbage, and apparently no shortage of boiled potatoes. The Old Timer’s friends included Mickey Doyle, Patrick Rooney and his daughter, Noreen, Dennis Cavanagh, and the boarding house proprietor, Mrs. Duffy. The gift o’ the blarney was thick with this lot, it was. An exchange between the Old Timer and his pal Mickey set the stage for a tale about Pat Rooney and his bravery medal.

MICKEY DOYLE: Have another bit o’ the corned beef an’ cabbage, Ould Timer, dear.

OLD TIMER:        Not another bit, Mickey. I couldn’t eat any more if I was to be paid for it. Mrs. Duffy certainly feeds you boys, doesn’t she?

MICKEY:               (MYSTERIOUSLY)  She feeds some of us better th’n others, Ould Timer.

OLD TIMER:        And what do you mean by that, lad? Don’t be so mysterious-like.

MICKEY:               Did ye not see the looks she passed to ould Patrick Rooney, Noreen’s father, when she was passin’ him the b’iled potaties? Ha!

OLD TIMER:        No! (CHUCKLE)  Can you imagine that? And how does Pat take it, Mickey?

MICKEY:               Shure, he eats it up!  (LAUGHS)  She’s the only one’ll listen to ould Pat’s stories of how the Superintindent give him a meddil wanst.

OLD TIMER:        I seem to have heard about that medal myself.

MICKEY:               Bedad, who hasn’t? Give ould Pat a corner an’ a man to listen, an’ he’ll go into details to stretch from here to Ballyclough! ‘Twas a brave deed, no doubt, but after ye’ve heard it f’r two years ye git just a little bit tired –

OLD TIMER:        Psssst!  Here he comes. And Noreen with him.   (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)  Hello, Noreen! Hello, Pat!  And – I’ll be hornswoggled! Hello there, Dennis Cavanagh!

Cavanagh, it seems, is a locomotive engineer. His usual locomotive is Number 2013. A little side-note here: when it comes to information about Great Northern Railway locomotives, I am absolutely the wrong guy to ask. However, with a copy of the outstanding 544-page “Steam Locomotives of the Great Northern Railway” by Middleton and Priebe at hand, I think I have it. GN #2013 was originally what they called a “Class N-1” locomotive, with a 2-8-8 wheel configuration. It was built sometime roughly in the timeframe of World War I. In about 1925, it was rebuilt as a Class N-2 but retained the same number. It was not rebuilt again until about 1941. GN #2013 was retired from service in 1957 and sold for scrap in 1962. If any of what I just wrote makes sense to you, then I think we’ve covered it. If it makes no sense at all, then you probably don’t much care. If you fall somewhere in between, go find yourself a copy of that book. It’s a doozy.

Dennis Cavanagh was one of the tenants at Mrs. Duffy’s boarding house. Cavanagh had barely settled into his seat at the dinner table before he was bad-mouthing the lowly conductors who boarded there. A quick cacophony of oaths and epithets suddenly filled the room. Boys, boys, boys. Tsk, tsk. As it turns out, it really just came down to a verbal row between Dennis Cavanagh and Mickey Doyle – seems they had both taken a shine to 21-year-old Noreen Rooney. For her part, Noreen just naturally enjoyed setting Dennis and Mickey at each other’s throats in competition over her. Just when Mickey protested that Noreen had just the night before declared she liked him best, she jumped up with a laugh and tugged at Dennis to take her to a movie.

The Old Timer tried to cool Mickey off with the old “other fish in the sea” line. Just to change the subject as much as anything, the Old Timer suggested that he and Mickey ought to join Pat Rooney out on the porch for a chat and a cigar. The obvious put-off for Mickey was the likelihood of having to hear old man Rooney go on again with the only tale he liked to tell.

MICKEY:               (RESIGNEDLY)  I s’pose I might as well, Old Timer. We’ll go out there an’ we’ll set down alongside ould Pat, an’ he’ll say “Ould Timer, this thing or that thing reminds me o’ the night that the superintindint give me the meddil” – an’ he’ll pull it out o’ his pants pocket an’ say “’Twas like this –”  an’ we’re shtuck the night.

OLD TIMER:        (CHUCKLE)  Oh, well, Mickey, Pat’s an old man, an’ that medal business was the biggest thing in his life. Come on – you can stand it once more.

The two men strolled out onto the porch and found their seats. Pat seemed pleased to see them.

PAT:                      Hillo, Ould Timer! Hillo, Mickey! Set down an’ light up!

OLD TIMER:        Thanks, Pat. (LIGHTS CIGAR)  Nice an’ comfortable here, ain’t it?

PAT:                      Shure, it is, Ould Timer. Y’ know, Ould Timer, I was a-thinkin’, the pipe I’m a-shmokin’ here reminds me o’ the night the Superintindint give me the meddil.

Mickey was full of dread for this broken record conversation, and Pat Rooney did not disappoint. The Old Timer was far too courteous to lose patience in this situation. Mickey, on the other hand, just didn’t have the tolerance to feign interest for yet another telling of the tale.

PAT:                      Did ye iver see the meddil, Ould Timer?

OLD TIMER:        I think I saw it once, Pat.

PAT:                      Well, sir, it was like this –

               (MUSIC UP FOR LONG TRANSITION. FADE BACK TO THE DRONE OF OLD
PAT’S VOICE FINISHING THE STORY. MICKEY IS SNORING)

PAT:                      Yis, sor, says the superintindint, “Ye’re a brave man, Patrick Rohney, an’ ‘tis proud I am to pin this here meddil on yer coat.” An’ with that he up an’ pins it to me coat, an’ me a-blushin’ like the sunrise over Lake Killarhey. What do ye think o’ that, Mickey?

MICKEY:               (AWAKES SUDDENLY)  Hey? Oh! Why – er, yes, – sure, Pat. Yes, indeed! I’ve been there many a time.

PAT:                      (TESTILY)  Ye’ve been where many a time? Ye wasn’t listenin’, ye –

This gleeful revelry was suddenly and rudely interrupted by the calls of an out-of-breath Dennis Cavanagh. He came running up, shouting for Pat and the Old Timer, and blathering something urgent about Noreen.

The men on the porch all tripped over each other trying to get Dennis to spit it out, but Dennis only managed to splutter bits and pieces as he tried to catch his breath. “We were crossin’ the street down there by th’ movie house, an’ …,” “along comes a big truck…,” “we didn’t hear it…,” [Mickey’s about fit to be tied at this point], “I tried t’ pull her outa th’ way… .” Pat wailed that his dear Noreen was killed, but Dennis kept sputtering more key details.

DENNIS:               They tuk her up t’ Doc Emmett Hogan’s office, an’ I wint up, wit me hand busted intirely as it is now, an’ Doc Hogan he says – he says –

OLD TIMER:        Says what, Dennis? Tell us, quick!

DENNIS:               He says she’ll have to go t’ th’ horspital quick or – or –

PAT:                      An’ how’s she t’ git t’ th’ hospital, wit’ ivery train gone, an’ none due till the mornin’?

Just then a railroad call boy approached, shouting for Cavanagh and Doyle (or “Boyle” – the continuity went back and forth on that point). The two men were both called to run a “caboose hop” to a town called Chilton. They were to report in 15 minutes – the steam was up already in old Number 2013.

Pat was elated. He said this was just the divine intervention required to provide a carriage of mercy to cart his badly injured daughter to get treatment. Mickey was the first to mention a fact they all knew – to carry such a passenger on a freight hop like this was strictly against company rules. Such an infraction was cause for immediate termination. Dennis was the first to respond with what they were all thinking about the rule – and its likely consequences.

DENNIS:               Ah, t’hell wit’ th’ rules! Come on, let’s go! What do we care if we git fired? The girl’s dyin!

With that, Dennis and Mickey both bolted off toward the freight yard. But before they got off the porch, the Old Timer shouted some additional support.

OLD TIMER:        Listen, boys! I’ll beat it to the depot, and wire ahead for official permission. The superintendent of the division is a personal friend of mine, and he’ll fix it up all right.  (RECEDING)  Hurry, now, boys! Pat, you’d better get Mrs. Duffy to go along with you. Noreen’ll need somebody!

PAT:                      All right, I will that. Mrs. Duffy! Hey, Mrs. Duffy!

               (MUSIC UP AND FADE TO SOUND OF A LOCOMOTIVE WITH STEAM UP. SPOT INJECTOR AND WATER-PUMP)

Now onboard their locomotive, Dennis and Mickey anxiously awaited the arrival of Noreen and the others. The first to appear was the Old Timer. He ran up to the cab of the huge steam engine and gave the boys an update.

OLD TIMER:        They’re on the way, Mickey. I got the superintendent, all right, and everything’s all right. We’ll have a clear track all the way.  (SOUND OF MOTOR CAR APPROACHING AT HIGH SPEED)  Here they are!  (CALLS)  Over here, Doc!  Over here, Doc!  (CAR UP CLOSE)

Well, wouldn’t you know it, but the next page of the continuity is missing. When the story picks up in another page, Noreen is coming to. Dr. Hogan and Mickey reassured her that she really was on board a caboose, on her way to get treatment at the hospital.

The train roared through the little town of Hurley without slowing down (as it should have). One person after another let it be known they were getting very nervous about a derailment, given the break-neck speed at which they were flying along.

OLD TIMER:        I’m thinkin’ we’ll all need the hospital if this speed keeps up!

MICKEY:               Don’t ye fret about that, Ould Timer. Dinny Cavanagh’s never took t’ th’ woods yet!

PAT:                      Shpeakin’ o’ takin’ t’ th’ woods reminds me o’ th’ time the superintindint give me the meddil. ‘Twas like this, Ould Timer.

The scene switched to the locomotive cab, and a shouted conversation between Dennis and the fireman, Aloysius. Dennis pointed out the signals were all green for them – no delays, as promised. Then Dennis got a bit pensive and suddenly stated that Mickey was such a bad feller. Aloysius reminded him they used to be close friends not long in the past. Dennis admitted things were smooth between the two friends, until they both fell for Noreen.

The long string of steady green lights came to an abrupt end. Dennis shouted to his fireman “Is that order board red, or am I seein’ things?”

ALOYSIUS:           (PAUSE)  Red she is. Hope, she’s turnin’ to green. Operator’s got somethin’ for us.

DENNIS:               Yep, there he is. I c’n see him in th’ headlight. Get over there an’ grab the hoop, Aloysius. Snappy, now!

ALOYSIUS:           Ahl right! (PAUSE AND AS THE LOCOMOTIVE ROARS PAST THE STATION A FAINT YELL FROM THE OPERATOR IS HEARD)  Got it!

DENNIS:               Well, read it!

ALOYSIUS:           Wait jist a minute. Here.  (READS)  Extra 21 east run slow not to exceed five miles per hour through main line at passing track east of Mile 436 account construction work. New ties not yet in position. Dennis, we’re sunk, an’ that poor girl –

Ah, the tension mounts! Will Dennis slow the train to a sluggish five miles per hour through the work zone? Will Noreen be able to hold on long enough to reach the hospital alive? Would Dennis dare break any more rules? Would he?

The suspense was rapidly thickening to were someone might just be able to cut it with a knife, when low and behold, Mickey came crawling up over the tender’s coal pile. Aloysius reached out a hand to help Mickey off the coal and into the cab.

MICKEY:               Thank ye, Aloysius Leahy. I niver thought I c’d make it, th’ way this wild Irishman’s toolin’ this hog. Dinny, did ye pick up something at th’ station back there?

DENNIS:               Yis. How’s Noreen?

MICKEY:               (DUBIOUSLY)  I don’t know. Ould Doc Hogan’s a-settin’ there alongside her, an’ she just moans every oncet in a while. Man, I think she’s hurt awful. D’ye think we’re a-goin’ t’ make it, now, Dinny?

DENNIS:               (GRIMLY)  We’ll make it if this here hog howlds together. But did ye see what the order said, Mick?

Mickey grabbed the train order and read it. He must have turned white as a sheet. “Howly Mother!” he cried out, “What are we t’ do, Dinny? Noreen’ll – she’ll – she’ll die, maybe whilst we’re a’dawdlin’ along –”

Dennis was not deterred. He declared they would make it through, or “take t’ the woods” in the effort.

MICKEY:               What do you mean?

DENNIS:               I mean I’m a-gonna disregard them there orders, an’ highball through. Wit’ only a caboose behint me, we’ve got half a chance to git through afore the tracks starts to settle.

MICKEY:               But Noreen, Dinny –a

DENNIS:               Mickey, we’ve got to take th’ chanst. It’s life or death anyway – an’ there’s just a chance we’ll git through. Oh, I’m takin’ the chanst, Mick – it’s me own responsibility, an’ there’s Aloysius for a witness.

Dennis told Mickey to get back to the caboose and the others, and to not say a word about Dennis’s plans. I suppose things were getting just a tad emotional.

MICKEY:               Ahl, right, Dinnis.  (PAUSE)  Dinny. Listen t’ me. I don’t know whether or not we’re a-goin’ t’ make it, but if we don’t, – an’ I don’t see ye ag’in – will ye – will ye – shake hands?

The train had been charging along at top speed, whipping through the boiler’s steam at a ferocious rate. Dennis told Aloysius they’d have to stop for water at the water tank they were rapidly approaching. He sent his fireman scrambling up on top of the tender to look after the water spout as the train slowed to a brief stop at the tank. The Old Timer took advantage of this delay to trot up to the locomotive and join the crew. Dennis sensed that the Old Timer had got wind of the plan to charge through the slow order territory. The Old Timer admitted that he could tell something was troubling Mickey, and he pried it out of him. They kept it to themselves, however – the others in the caboose were still in the dark. Dennis asked the Old Timer if he thought Dennis’s plan was merited.

OLD TIMER:        Sure, you’re right, Dennis. There’s nothing else to do, is there?

DENNIS:               Well, I was thinkin’. I could stop an’ let off ould Pat an’ Mrs. Duffy an’ you an’ Mickey – an’ Aloysius an’ me could git through by ourselves …

OLD TIMER:        Dennis, you know dog-gone well you couldn’t get rid of us if you tried to.

DENNIS:               You s’spose so, Ould Timer?

OLD TIMER:        Of course, boy, separate Pat from his daughter when she’s – when she’s hurt this way? Or  (CHUCKLE)  Mrs. Duffy from old Pat? Say, I just had to get out of that caboose to tell you the news. Pat and Mrs. Duffy have just about decided –

DENNIS:               What?

OLD TIMER:        Yes. They was both a-settin’ there, each holdin’ one of Noreen’s hands – old Pat was sort of cryin’ gentle-like, an all of a sudden Mrs. Duffy leaned over an’ kissed him –

DENNIS:               Kissed ould Pat? An’ now if – er, when Noreen gets all fixed up, she’s goin’ to have a stepmother. I’ll bet you a hat.

Aloysius broke through the glow of Rooney and Mrs. Duffy’s apparent romance and informed Dennis they were upon milepost 436 – and the section under repair.

(WHISTLE UP LOUD AND LOUDER CLATTER AS THE LOCOMOTIVE HITS THE SOFT SPOTS. FADE TO MUSIC FOR LONG TRANSITION AND FADE OUT TO NORMAL SOUND OF LOCOMOTIVE)

Well, you’ve read about enough of these Empire Builders stories that I don’t need to tell you the train arrived safely at the town of Chilton. The contingent of train riders, intent to a person on getting Noreen to the hospital to save her life, all rejoiced in the fact they seemed to have arrived in time.

Pretty much the only loose end remaining was for Noreen to make it clear which man she was truly most fond of: Dennis or Mickey. Empire Builders did not disappoint. Nor did Noreen, as she found the strength to call out to the man she truly loved.

“Freddie! Freddie, darling! Father, where’s Freddie?”

Mickey and Dennis were completely in the dark.

FREDDIE:             (APPROACHING)  (SLIGHTLY PANSYLIKE)  Oh, Noreen darling! I was so alarmed! I rushed right down here just as soon as I could. Are you suffering much, dearest?

NOREEN:             Oh, Freddie, Freddie, darling! You’re going with me to the hospital aren’t you?

FREDDIE:             Well, I should say I certainly am, dearie!

DENNIS:               Mickey, what’s this?

MICKEY:               Saints preserve us, I don’t know. Say, who are you, fellow?

FREDDIE:             Take your hands off me! I’m Miss Noreen’s sweetheart. We’re going to be married just as soon as she gets well. Aren’t we, darling?

The orchestra brought the music up and then faded for the closing announcement – which is unfortunately missing as well. I suppose we can all rest assured that at least some of the characters in our story lived happily ever after.

Until next time, keep those dials tuned to Empire Builders!